On Being Bisaya

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This was emailed to me by a friend, and had me laughing my a** off because there’s so much truth in it. It doesn’t matter if one hails from Cebu, Cagayan de Oro, Davao, or smalltown Ozamiz, or even if one is an OFW or migrant toiling away in New York or Dubai or Singapore. As long as one is in the company of a largely Bisaya/Cebuano-speaking folk, then he’ll likely agree.

(sorry for my non-Bisaya readers… but just read along, it’s not too hard to get to the gist of the post really. Or you can ask.)

You know you’re BISDAK when……..

1. You feel insulted when a non-Bisdak ridicules someone by saying “bisaya”, but it’s okay if another Bisdak uses it to another Bisdak, as in “ah, bisaya-a pud oy!”.

2. You feel proud when Matud Nila is sung and you sing along with it bisan dili nimo memorize.

3. Hibal-an nimo kung unsa ang “habal-habal” bisan wala pa ka kasakay niani ug siyempre pa ang “sikad”.

4. Common usages kung ga-tinagalog: the use of “kuwan” as interjection ang superlative nga pirmi gamiton mao ang “masyado”, i.e., maingay masyado, sobra masyado, bilisan mo masyado (read: paspasi lagi) adunay tendency nga pulihan lang ang “o” or “a” og “i”, i.e., ang atop into atip, ang kan-on into kan-in, ang sud-an into sud-in ug ang utan into…

5. You know what “itlog mo ‘noy orange” means.

6. You know that the karaang “bayle” aron mamahimong modern gipulihan na og “disco” – discoral.

7. Aduna kay hibaw-an nga at least usa ka kanta ni Yoyoy Villame or Max Surban bisan sa tono lang.

8. You can use varied terms of endearment for friends and relatives ? Like bay, parts, paparts, migo, kabs (kababayan), parekoy, pareng, choy, higala, kid, gaw, gaweks, manoy, nong, inse, ditse, iyo, iya, palangga, pangga, gang.

9. You call someone “Inday” and/or “Dodong” as a term of affection and hate it when other non-bisdak use the term as if its a title given for a househelp.

10. You know what “maning-hag” is?

11. You know Vino Kulafu and Fighter Wine… sometimes you even know its jingle!

12. Instead of Stork, you chose Snowbear menthol candy or you buy Timbura when you mean Corniks.

13. You’re familiar with the brand Loalde in clothing.

14. You crave for inun-unan, paklay, halang-halang, law-oy, kinilaw, ginamos, bulad, binignit (tabirak), sikwate paresan sa puto maya.

15. Esteban Escudero and Golyat are folk heroes.

16. Handumanan sa Usa ka Awit is closer to your heart than Maalaala Mo Kaya on TV.

17. You know what HITACHI means (Himantayon, Tabian, Chismosa).

18. SUTUKIL is as common as TAPSI, in fact you know that SUTUKIL came first.

19. Your common pulutan for Tuba drinking is “TARGET” – as in nga targeton lang nimo sa imong tudlo.

20. You have at least once in your lifetime experienced “Ang Mysterio sa Paglawig sa Barko Padulong Manila“, a phenomenon that when the boat is approaching Manila, everybody around you suddenly becomes Tagalog speaking. Nga adtong miaging adlaw lang pwerting bisaya pa ninyo!

21. You whisper bisaya to a fellow bisdak in the midst of a tagalog crowd…and he replies loudly to you in tagalog!

22. The first question you ask when you found out that someone is bisdak, “taga-asa man diay ka?”

23. You usually use the warning phrase ‘Hala Ka’!

24. You know the meaning and proper usages of the following (irreverent) words/phrases: pesteng yawa, usapa na, pastilan, latina__ , butalo, way kurat, hastang, PUSLAN MAN, kuwangol, libod-suroy, ligas-paka, way kuha, ka-ubo,kolera, sampila(koy) , burik_t, barbaki, mangga ka sir?, duha singko, balang, palag?, wa ka kyapi?, ok pas olrayt, haybol, ang pahak!, jer-jer, way blema, tulibagbag, pagarpar, giro, pamalalat, kalandrakas, ambot sa langaw pilay idad sa ok-ok, bugnawg simod, buak ang pula, bagdok, gi-atay, gi-ahak, tibak (tiguwang bakla), NPA (nawong puros agtang), mamaklad, agua de pataranta, tira pasagad, basin diay pilay pad’s sa ungoy, banat kay awaaw, mat-an pas pinya, ngitngit pas alkitran, tak-om pas tuway, ug uban pa…. gibangkulya, gi-atay, pastilan, sus!

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