One Day At A Time

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MAY 5, 2005: A counselor in red soccer jersey & his team brought me to It Works! After hours, I was transferred to LS for detoxification. On May 9th, monday, I started Day 1 and attended my 1st A A Meeting. Thank You for helping me… Today, I am two (2) years CLEAN & SOBER…

My brother sent this text message to me this morning. I wanted to say, “how time flies!”, but taking his perspective, these two years of daily struggle against drug addiction has been a long, challenging crawl through the tunnel’s end.

All that happened about his healing still remain fresh, etched in memory, to serve as a battery of lessons about life, love and family.

The family never expected it to happen to anyone among us. We saw no reason for him to get into it. He didn’t either. Like the rest of them. Nobody intends to get caught into its trap. Lucky are those who are able to get away from it after the first few tries, or are able to occasionally have its thrill without discernible harm. Maybe it just isn’t their thing. But for most, the promise of temporal pleasure is just too hard to ignore and let pass. And it doesn’t take long to get hooked, even before they know it. By then it will be too late to see that there is no sense in playing Russian roulette with life.

When he was deep in it, he recalls having bouts of depression and self-pity, of wanting to get out yet not knowing how to. Of not having the strength to break free. There were instances when we would worry because he seldom got out of his room for days. His demeanor changed overtime, becoming irritable, easily provoked, manipulative. His hygiene dived to the gutters. Things around the house began to mysteriously disappear and I learned to habitually lock my room.

Initially, for the family, there was denial. There were hunches, there were glaring clues, but we kept mum. Then my parents dared to talk to him about it, only to be plead that he be given time to quit. This to me was the most painful part because they were giving him money, and we knew where that was going to. Still we kept our opinions to ourselves. It was only when Tatay resolved to have him picked up for rehab when we found the courage to talk openly about it. I remember feeling angry towards father for not telling us about the plan. I gave him the silent treatment for days. But looking back, that was the best thing to do, as telling anybody could have leaked it and driven my brother away. To where and what it could have led him remains to be a grim prospect.

The treatment period was three months, but it was suggested that we treat it as a life long commitment to rehab. It was not just him who got into therapy, actually. The whole family was involved. We went to weekend counseling, too. In these sessions, we learned about how little we know and how wrong these ideas were about addiction and addicts.

Like us, most people have misconceptions about addicts – generally misinformed, unkind if not apathetic, or frightened and angry. But above everything else, they are victims, unwilling, and in need of help. And anyone can be an addict to anything. It is the expression to this tendency which varies – people could have the compulsion to use drugs, alcohol, sex, games, work, the internet, shopping, food… anything to give them instant gratification, to the detriment of other things. It hampers productivity, undermines relationships, distresses health. Addicts may mention a whole gamut of reasons why they get into the habit, some even justify, but nobody likes the feeling of losing control over one’s choices. And they never fancy the lamentable mess they are in.

What they need is a chance to get away from its grasp, forcibly if needed, and be kept away from it tenaciously. They need a steady hand to hold, a strong shoulder to lean on, someone unwavering to fall back on. Of course, there has to be willpower on their part, the desire to change. But this takes patience and time, and often, force. There is a need to change old habits and attitudes of those around them, like family and friends, and a need to change their environment so that it reinforces sobriety. It may seem like a lot of effort is required, but it is doable. While working at it, the family gets to see benefits. It did draw us closer than ever. It broke communication barriers. It made us realize how important each one of us is to everyone. It made us appreciate even the smallest, simplest things anyone of us could do for each other. It got us praying.

My brother is fortunate that the family has been with him all the way. But support is not the sole responsibility of the family. A society that is forgiving, compassionate, open, rational and proactive could very much aid in keeping them clean and sober by the day.

One day at a time – that’s what they were told at rehab and constantly reminded of in their regular meetings – for how long it gets sustained can also depend on how ready we are to embrace them and make them functional, contributing citizens once again.

These may be useful to some:

It Works!

Tinago, Ozamiz City

Telephone: (088) 521-1281/ +639189361388

Mr. Rene Francisco (Program Director)

New Living solutions Chemical Dependency Treatment Center

Purok 3, Brngy Sto. Nino, Agusan Del Norte

Pedro Llesis (Administrative Comptroller)/ 09214149469

Ulysses Anteola (Head Counselor)/ 09193586177

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