Before Marriage…
Guy: Yes! At last! It was so hard to wait…
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Guy: No! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Guy: Of course! Over and over…
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Guy: No! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Guy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Guy: Are you crazy? I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Guy: Yes!
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage…
Simply read from bottom to top. 
A man, sick and tired of work everyday, asked God to switch bodies with his wife.
The next morning, he woke up as a woman… cooked, fed the family, drove to school, washed and ironed, went out for groceries, balanced the checkbook, vacuumed, dusted and swept, cooked dinner… after supper cleaned the kitchen. At night made love to the husband.
The next morning, he admitted his mistake to God and prayed for a trade back. God said, “O.K. But you’ll have to wait for nine months. You got pregnant last night!”
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… What happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!“
Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!
9 Comments
September 11, 2007 at 8:45 pm
ahhaahahahahahah….
fun story!
September 12, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Nice one. I like the part where the man came home really drunk and the idea of getting him roses and aspirin and all that. I have made it a habit of getting everything organized with my Badoodles. Yung tipong isusubo na lang yung food, aabutin na lang ang towel when he takes a bath… those little things that show i care! I just enjoy the role although he sometimes asks me to stop spoiling him.
September 12, 2007 at 12:55 pm
“Saying the right thing, at the right time” seems difficult because women (as far as i know them) seldom see the right thing!
Husband becomes underdog when she argues.. All she says are right; and sometimes, she don’t know what the word “listen” mean.
It’s not easy to become a husband!
September 12, 2007 at 3:06 pm
This circulated when the spoofs for Mastercard’s tagline “priceless” came up.
September 13, 2007 at 4:01 pm
thanks for the comments, guys!
chase: welcome back! katawa bitaw ko ani ai, timing pa jud na ang first two mga text messages nagsunod, each one coming from a different source. and then when i opened my email inbox, the third joke was there. ah, sulat lagi dayon! hehe.
bebenibadoodles: swerte naman ni badoodles! at swerte ka rin at naappreciate niya. pero totoo, wag naman sobra-sobra. a bit of space, at hahanap-hanapin in due time. tuloy ang ligaya!
bai Jerry: it seems like it. usahay makaingon ko tinood na. many see their men as someone they can tame, or change. it must be their mothering instinct at work. wag na oi. kung di ganahan di ayaw! wahahaha.
Mithi: yeah, i saw a couple of those ads on tv! kaya pala parang familiar…
September 14, 2007 at 1:54 pm
waaaaaaaah. i looooooove this post. haha. especially the last story. wooow. sweeet.
September 15, 2007 at 11:30 am
Humor foster healing, a 1988 study at Loma Linda University School of Medicine. Other studies suggest regular doses of humor and laughter can enhance breathing and circulation, eases pain and unleash that flood of endorphins. A good joke helps the mind focus on something besides pain. Hu-hah, I got a good dose of it today while reading your post. Nice job Doc.
September 18, 2007 at 1:31 am
funny marriage joke
… i hope the first part isn’t true! ha ha ;P
November 20, 2007 at 8:19 am
Awryt! nakakatuwa hehehe LOL